You know you are an amateur asteroid astrometrist when....

1) Your spouse checks MPECs to see where you were last night and who you were with.
2) You would like to see all stars not in the A 2.0 or UCAC removed from the sky.
3) Until you decide on a name, your newborn  baby gets a provisional designation.
4) If the police ask you, 'where were you on the night of.......' you check NEODys.
5) You refer to galaxies as 'the vermin of the skies'
6) You plan vacations and weddings to coincide with the full moon.
7) Your spouse wonders why you are so interested in One Night Stands.
8) When relatives send you family photos, you blink them to see if they've had any more kids.
9) At workshops you have no idea to whom you are talking until they mention their MPC code.
10) You check your bank statements for residuals
11) Your job is an annoying thing you have to do to finance your real work.
12) You love winter because the nights are long and the ecliptic high up.
13) You love august because the big surveys are rained out.
14) MPC issue day is the high point of your month
15) You ridicule your kids for playing computer games all day, then do exactly the same thing all night.
16) You spend 2 hours measuring the exact position of a 20th magnitude piece of noise before deciding not to send it in.
17) You dream of retirement so you can devote even more time to your hobby.
18) Asteroids II is your preferred bedside reading
19) You will happily relocate your entire family and change jobs for clearer skies.
20) You can find a small object at 400.000.000 miles but can't find your car keys.

Matt Dawson - MPML 2001