“十年少”仙丹
Anecdotes on astronomy
Dec 9th
Who is E.T.
The Hungarian pysicist Leo Szilard and his colleague Enrico Fermi once fell into a discussion concerning the likelihood of the existence of other life in the cosmos. Fermi discoursed at length on the immensity and incredible age of the universe, the probability that other stars could support planetary systems, and the probability that intelligent beings would have developed the means of traveling to earth.
"If all this has been happening," Fermi asked, "how is it that they have not arrived? Where are they?" "They are already among us," Szilard replied, "but they call themselves... Hungarians!"
Hawking's eureka moment
Stephen Hawking, famed for his revolutionary cosmological theories, once gave a lecture on the joys of scientific discovery in which he touched upon the so-called "eureka" moment: the sense of being the first person to discover something about the nature of the universe. "This feeling might not quite be comparable to sex," Hawking declared, "but it lasts longer!"
Cosmic view
One day the classical scholar Gilbert Murray encountered Albert Einstein sitting deep in thought in the Christ Church quad at Oxford university.
Murray asked the physicist what he was thinking about. "I am thinking," Einstein replied, "that, after all, this is a very small star."
Einstein's wife
Einstein's second wife, Elsa, was once asked whether she understood her husband's theory of relativity. "No," she replied, "but I know my husband and I know he can be trusted."
On another occasion, Elsa was once given a guided tour of the Mount Wilson Observatory (in California), whose giant optical telescope was among the largest in the world.
"One of the principal functions of all this sophisticated machinery," an astronomer explained, "is to determine the extent and shape of the universe." "Oh," she replied, "my husband does that on the back of an old envelope."
Asymmetrical Speculation
Like many theoretical physicists, Wolfgang Pauli came to believe that the mathematics describing the universe should be beautiful in their simplicity. He was particularly dismayed by the many asymmetries which populate theoretical equations - for example, that between the amounts of matter and anti-matter in the universe (without which, it should be added, we would not exist) and that between the spins and charges of various particles. "I refuse to believe," he once declared, "that God is a weak left-hander!"
Scrach that
Although Carl Sagan enjoyed eating as much as the next famous astronomer, he never produced an apple pie to his satisfaction. "To make an apple pie from scratch," he once declared, "you first must create the universe."
Precision
Like every mathematician, Sir Arthur Eddington was a sucker for precision. "I believe there are 15,747,724,136,275,002,577,605,653,961,181,555,468,044,717,914,527,116,709,366,231, 425,076,185,631,031,296,296 protons in the universe," he declared during his Tarner lecture in 1938, "and the same number of electrons."
Talk show
Eddie Fisher once appeared on a television program during which entertainers sought romantic, spiritual, and other miscellaneous guidance from a group of panelists (among them the noted wit George S. Kaufman). Fisher's complaint concerned a certain chorus girl who refused to go out with him on account of his age.
"Mr. Fisher," Kaufman advised, "on Mount Wilson there is a telescope that can magnify the most distant stars up to twenty-four times the magnification of any previous telescope. This remarkable instrument was unsurpassed in the world of astronomy until the development and construction of the Mount Palomar telescope - an even more remarkable instrument of magnification. Owing to advances and improvements in optical technology, it is capable of magnifying the stars to four times the magnification and resolution of the Mount Wilson telescope." Here Kaufman paused, surveying the puzzled faces around him. "Mr. Fisher," he continued, "if you could somehow put the Mount Wilson telescope inside the Mount Palomar telescope, you still wouldn't be able to detect my interest in your problem."
The Andromeda Nebula
"The Andromeda Nebula is a beautiful pinwheel of stars and luminous clouds of gas located beyond the Milky Way. An editor friend of mine once showed a picture of the galaxy to the art director of a magazine. 'That's gorgeous!' said the art director. 'But can we get a shot of it from another angle?'"
Galileo's anagram
In 1610, Galileo used an anagram to announce his discovery of what he believed to be two moons orbiting another planet: smaismrmilmepoetaleumibunenugttauiras.
Remarkably, Johannes Kepler, after considerable effort, managed to decipher the code, Salve umbisteneum geminatum Martia proles ("Hail, twin companionship, children of Mars"), thereby confirming his own prediction that Mars has two moons.
More remarkable still, Galileo's cypher had in fact declared: Altissimum planetam tergeminum observavi ("I have observed the highest of the planets - Saturn - three-formed")!
The first satellite of Sweden
In July 1966, Michael Collins was selected to pilot NASA's three-day Gemini 10 mission. While the mission (to rendezvous and dock with an orbiting Agena rocket) was a success, Collins did make a minor blunder: during his historic space walk, he dropped a Swedish-made Hasselblad camera.
Back on earth, the astronaut was amused to learn that the Swedes had begun to refer to the camera as their country's first satellite.
Roosevelt's bed-side story
Before going to bed one night, Teddy Roosevelt joined the noted naturalist William Beebe for a bit of star-gazing.
"That is the Spiral Galaxy in Andromeda," Roosevelt declared, indicating a small patch of light near the constellation of Pegasus. "It is as large as our Milky Way. It is one of a hundred million galaxies. It consists of one hundred billion suns, each larger than our sun."
The president then turned to Beebe. "Now I think we are small enough," he declared. "Let's go to bed."
After all, Roosevelt is right on that Andromeda Galaxy is an ideal target to watch if you would like to know how small we are.
Anti-comet pills
Halley's comet, which also appeared in 1066, has a period of approximately 76 years. In 1910, superstitious people bought anti-comet pills at $1 a box.
Round as a button
As news of Sir William Herschel's astronomical discoveries spread in the 1780s, many observers were particularly fascinated that his powerful new telescopes revealed stars to be circular objects, rather than the pointy 'stars' seen by the naked eye.
Herschel once found himself seated next to the notoriously awkward physicist Henry Cavendish at a formal dinner: "Is it true," Cavendish slowly asked, leaning forward, "that you see the stars round?" "Round as a button," Herschel replied.
Cavendish then lapsed into a silence which lasted until the end of the meal, whereupon he leaned forward again. "Round as a button?" "Round as a button," Herschel replied with a nod. These seventeen words comprised their entire conversation.
Consider Betelgeuse
Albert Einstein was among the notable guests who attended the premiere of Charlie Chaplin's City Lights in 1931. While visiting Hollywood, the famed physicist attempted to explain his theories to a studio executive. "For instance, consider Betelgeuse," he remarked at one point. "Betelgeuse, one of the greatest stars in the whole system, can be photographed merely by means of one ray of light..."
Some time after Einstein left, the executive called his casting director. "Say," he shouted. "I want you should go out and sign up this feller Betelgeuse, and I want you should sign him up quick. Einstein, who knows everything, says he's one of the greatest stars in the business!"
Transit of Venus
Many 17th and 18th century astronomers tried to estimate the distance from Earth to the sun (the so-called "astronomical unit") by observing a "transit of Venus" across the face of the sun. Edmond Halley, England's second Astronomer Royal, once calculated that, by timing Venus's transit from widely separated points on Earth (making use of the "parallax" effect), the astronomical unit could, using the clocks of the day, be measured to within one part in 500. (Unfortunately Venus rarely transits the sun, typically doing so only twice every 130 years.)
"What followed was the 18th-century equivalent of the space race. Wealthy nations took up the challenge and competed for scientific prestige. The rivalry was especially intense between Britain and France, which were engaged in the Seven Years War at the time of the transit of 1761...
"The French had their share of troubles. The most pathetic of these were suffered by Guillaume Joseph Hyacinthe Jean-Baptiste Le Gentil de la Galaisiere. He was aiming for Pondicherry, a French colony in India, but he learned before arriving that it had been captured by the British. When the transit occurred, he was stuck on a pitching ship in an imprecisely known location, rendering his observations worthless. Undeterred, he decided to wait for the 1769 transit. He spent eight years on various Indian Ocean islands before making his way to Pondicherry, which had by then been returned to the French. On the day of the transit, however, it was cloudy. He then contracted dysentery, was shipwrecked, and finally returned home to find his estate looted."
Another story about transit of Venus
To better observe a "transit of Venus," Pierre Janssen, a French astronomer, invented the "revolver photographique" - a multi-exposure camera whose aperture was covered by a rotating slotted wheel which admitted light at regular intervals. This contraption, which influenced Etienne Jules Marey and the Lumine brothers, was the direct ancestor of the movie camera.
Abberation of light
While observing Gamma Draconis in 1725, the English astronomer James Bradley was puzzled to find that the star appeared to be moving in a direction opposite to that expected from parallax (the apparent change in the direction of an object caused by a change in the observer's location).
The explanation came to Bradley one day in 1728 while he was boating on the Thames. Watching a weather vane at the top of the mast, he noticed with surprise that the wind appeared to shift every time the boat changed direction. When Bradley shared his observation, the boatmen replied that the wind was constant, and that the apparent change was due entirely to the changing direction of the boat.
He quickly saw the analogy between wind blowing on a boat and light flowing from a distant star "blowing" on the earth. His discovery of so-called "Aberration of Light" was a triumph of exact observation and clear insight. Moreover, such was the accuracy of Bradley's observations that his determination of the value of the 'Constant of Aberration' (20.39") closely approximates the value accepted today (20.47").
Fraunhofer's problem
In the early 1800s, the German optician Joseph von Fraunhofer built magnificent retracting telescopes and conducted important research on light refraction. More importantly, his discovery of dark lines in the solar spectrum led to the foundation of the science of spectroscopy. Nonetheless, Fraunhofer was not allowed to address scientific meetings. The problem? He did not have a formal university education.
Meteorites
Though Thomas Jefferson did important scientific work (experimenting, for example, with new varieties of grain and studying and classifying various fossils), he refused to believe in meteorites. One day, it was reported that two professors had seen a meteorite land in Connecticutt. Jefferson remained unconvinced. "I would rather believe that two Yankee professors would lie," he declared, "than that stones fall from the sky."
Space cadet
Vice President Dan Quayle was among the early supporters of NASA's plans for a manned mission to Mars. "It's time," he enthused one day, "for the human race to enter the solar system!"
NASA's solution
In 1995, in a bid to protect the space shuttle from woodpeckers, NASA sent an employee to Wal-Mart. The solution? Six plastic owls.
Space lawyer
On April 28, 2001, Virgiliu Pop - a space lawyer and extraterrestrial property rights expert at Glasgow University - claimed ownership of the sun and also disavowed any liability for damage caused by his property. Pop pulled the stunt, he later explained, "to show how ridiculous a property-rights system in outer space would be if it were based solely on claims unsubstantiated by any actual possession."
In 1993, three Yemeni brothers, claiming to have inherited Mars from their ancestors 3,000 years before, filed a lawsuit against the United States for trespassing on the red planet. The Americans sent attorneys to Yemen and the case was ultimately dismissed.
Playing God
Though Werner Heisenberg was awarded a Nobel Prize for his elucidation of the "uncertainty principle" (in 1932), Albert Einstein never accepted it; its stipulation that the more carefully one measures the position of a given particle, the less certain its momentum becomes (and vice-versa) threatened to wreak havoc with the strict determinism in which he believed. "God," he often declared, "does not play dice with the universe."
"Who are you," Niels Bohr once retorted, "to tell God what to do?" Years later Stephen Hawking also entered the fray: "God not only plays dice," he declared, "but sometimes throws them where they cannot be seen."
Human stupidity
"Only two things are infinite - the universe and human stupidity," Einstein once remarked, "and I'm not sure about the former."
Hypothesis
The French mathematician and astronomer Pierre Laplace was so inspired by the metaphor of the clockwork universe that when asked about the existence of God he famously replied: "I have no need of that hypothesis."
These pieces of anecdotes are citing from www.anecdotage.com.
Anecdotes on astronomy
Dec 6th
Hsi and Ho
The first report of a solar eclipse appeared in Chinese records. The eclipse came without warning, according to legend, because the royal astronomers, Hsi and Ho, were too drunk to make the necessary computations. For this dereliction of duty they were promptly executed.
I have never heard about such a fact -- however this is quoted from Isaac Asimov so it should be reliable.
Peaceful eclipse
On May 28, 585 BC, as the Medes and Lydians were advancing into battle, the sun was suddenly blotted from the sky by an eclipse. Both sides were so frightened that they packed up their equipment and promptly went home.
According to the historian Herodotus, Thales had used his knowledge of Babylonian astronomy to forecast this (solar) eclipse.
Astronomer curate
The English astronomer Jeremiah Horrocks was also a curate. One day he calculated that the next transit of Venus across the sun would occur on November 24, 1639 - which fell on a Sunday. On the historic day, Horrocks plowed through his services with extraordinary speed before racing off through the fields to his instruments. Horrocks arrived just in time to make his crucial observations.
Before the 2007's partial eclipse (on March 19) took place, I was on presentation of an English class. I, too, finished with speed (though not "extraordinary") and asked the professor if I can leave for the eclipse. My request was approved and I rushed back to dormitary for my instruments.
Stellar insight
One day during the Peloponnesian War, as Pericles was setting out to sea, an eclipse occurred and the ship's captain became too frightened to proceed. Pericles stepped forward, removed his cloak, and threw it over the captain's head.
"Does this frighten you?" he asked. "No," the captain replied. "Then what difference is there between the two events," Pericles asked, "except that the sun is covered by a larger object than my cloak?"
Columbus's magic
While anchored off Jamaica in 1504, Christopher Columbus found himself in dire straits. Though his supplies were running low, the Jamaican Indians refused to sell him any more food. Consulting his almanac, Columbus noticed that a lunar eclipse was due a few days later. On the appointed day, he summoned the Jamaican leaders and warned them that he would blot out the moon that very evening if his demands for food were not promptly met. The Jamaicans only laughed at him - until later that night when the eclipse began. As the moon disappeared before their eyes, they visited Columbus in a state of terror, whereupon he agreed to stop his magic in exchange for food. The offer was accepted and the moon "restored."
Another unconfirmed story is also about an explorer, but I have forgot his name. He wanted to copy Columbus's success and told the aborigine that the moon will be blotted out in the evening. "Oh, don't worry," the aborigine replied, "it will restored automatically."
Cannelloni on Mars!
One day in 1877, it was reported that Italian astronomer Giovanni Schiaparelli had observed, through his telescope, canals on the surface of Mars. This apparent evidence of the existence of a Martian civilisation inspired H. G. Wells to write The War of the Worlds, which, in turn, inspired Orson Welles's famous radio news bulletin hoax (which led thousands of listeners across America to believe that they were actually listening to the live report of a martian invasion).
The ultimate cause of all the excitement? Schiaparelli's report of Martian channels ("canali"), possibly carved by ancient rivers or glaciers, was mistranslated into English as "canals." Despite Schiaparelli's protestations, many astronomers latched onto the notion of life on Mars, and public interest naturally exploded.
Wise guy
Alfonso the Wise was famed for his patronage of the arts and sciences, for his revision of the Castilian legal code, for his sponsorship of the translation of many Arabic works, and for his compilation of the "Alfonsine Tables" (which, published on the date of his accession to the throne, remained the most authoritative planetary tables in existence for some three hundred years).
Because they were based upon a (then-prevalent but erroneous) Ptolemaic (geocentric) scheme, however, many complicated calculations were required to render the tables usable. Indeed, Alfonso is said to have remarked that, had God consulted him during the six days of creation, he might have recommended a less complicated design.
A good excuse when being not able to solve mathematic problems...
Space cadet
In 2003, NASA's John Rummel became the agency's official "planetary protection officer." His responsibility? To safeguard Earth from alien life-forms by quarantining extraterrestrial samples until they are proven safe for scientific study, and to safeguard the rest of the solar system from cross-contamination with Earth's microorganisms (which could inadvertently be transported by space probes).
Rummel was serious about his mandate, and had his department's motto printed on bumper stickers: "All of the planets, all of the time."
"What we worry about, of course, is not that we would find a virus that is predisposed to parasitize organisms," Rummel explained, "but something that might have a way of life that might not be recognized by our defence mechanisms. The unknown unknowns are the ones that will get you."
Mi Fa Mi
Johannes Kepler inherited incredibly accurate astronomical records from his mentor Tycho Brahe and in 1610 began to use telescopes to make observations of his own - observations which led both to his three laws of planetary motion and to his support of Copernicus' heliocentric model of the solar system.
Oddly, Kepler also believed in the Pythagorean theory that each planet emitted characteristic notes (the "music of the spheres"). The notes sounded by Earth, according to Kepler? Mi, fa, and mi - indicating misery, famine... and misery.
"We now believe," string theorist Michio Kaku declared some 400 years later, "that the mind of God is music resonating through 10-dimensional hyperspace." Indeed, in May 2001, three groups of scientists produced evidence that the Big Bang yielded a series of low tones (dubbed the "music of creation"), which still echo through the cosmos.
God love music -- this is not simply an anecdote I think, this is the truth.
Search for Pluto
Clyde Tombaugh's search for a trans-Neptunian planet (one with an orbit beyond that of Neptune) was not an easy one. Tombaugh often found himself at the Lowell Observatory struggling with photographic plates containing as many as 400,000 stars. His mission? To painstakingly compare several such plates - and see whether any of the dots had moved.
With computer, my task is much more easier than poor Tombaugh. However, I have never been able to spot a 13.9mag. new asteroid! (Or, "plutoid")
Swift's prediction
1726 saw the appearance of Jonathan Swift's Gulliver's Travels, a fictional work containing the following passage: "They [the Laputians] have likewise discovered two lesser stars, or satellites, which revolve about Mars, whereof the innermost is distant from the center of the primary planet exactly three of its diameters, and the outermost five; the former revolves in the space of ten hours, and the latter in twenty-one and a half; so that the squares of their periodical times are very near the same proportion with the cubes of their distance from the center of Mars, which evidently shows them to be governed by the same law of gravitation that influences the other heavenly bodies."
Incredibly, Swift accurately described the two moons of Mars - more than 150 years before they were discovered.
Incredibly!
Deep thought
Scientists in Cambridge spent three years calculating one of the fundamental keys to the universe - The Hubble Constant [the velocity at which a typical galaxy is receding from Earth divided by its distance from Earth] that determines the age of the universe. This process mirrored a passage in [Douglas Adams's] cult science fiction novel and radio series 'The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy' in which an alien race programs a computer called Deep Thought to provide the ultimate answer to understanding life and the universe.
In the novel, seven and a half million years later Deep Thought comes back with the result, 42.
In an extraordinary coincidence when the Cambridge scientists finally calculated the Hubble Constant they found the answer was also 42.
"It caused quite a few laughs when we arrived at the figure 42," Dr Keith Grange later recalled, "because we're all great fans of The Hitchhiker's Guide!" (Sadly, estimates of the Hubble Constant now range between 57 and 78 kilometers per second per megaparsec.)
Causmology?
Ronald Knox once found himself embroiled in a theological argument with the scientist John Scott Haldane. "In a universe containing millions of planets," Haldane asked, "is it not inevitable that life should appear on at least one of them?"
"Sir," Knox replied, "if Scotland Yard found a body in your cabin trunk, would you tell them: 'There are millions of trunks in the world - surely one of them must contain a body?' I think they would still want to know who put it there!"
A good reason of why we are doing astronomy -- and science!
Eddington's turtle and elephant
While delivering a lecture on cosmology one day, Sir Arthur Eddington gave a brief overview of the early theories of the universe. Among others, he mentioned the Indian belief that the world rested on the back of a giant turtle, adding that it was not a particularly useful model as it failed to explain what the turtle itself was resting on.
Following the lecture Eddington was approached by an elderly lady. "You are very clever, young man, very clever," she forcefully declared, "but there is something you do not understand about Indian cosmology: it's turtles all the way down!"
Eddington once gave his Cambridge students an examination question involving "a perfectly spherical elephant, whose mass may be neglected..."
I have read about Eddington's turtle on Hawking's A brief history of Time (I am not sure if I type it right), but it is slightly different from the one here. However, I prefer this one as it is more enjoyable.
These anecdotes are citing from www.anecdotage.com.
Meteorological anecdotes
Dec 3rd
Fishy forecast
During a weather forecast in October 1987, British meteorologist Michael Fish told viewers that "a woman rang to say she'd heard there was a hurricane on the way. Well, don't worry," he continued, "there isn't." Brushing aside the amateur's forecast with a chuckle, Fish promised "sea breezes" and a "showery airflow."
Britain was promptly hit by 120 mph winds which ripped up 300 miles of power cables, plunged a quarter of the country into darkness, blocked 200 roads with fallen branches, downed 25 per cent of the trees in Kent and stopped all rail traffic in the south for twenty-four hours. An ambulance at Hayling island was hit by a yacht floating across the road and the Meteorological Office called it the worst hurricane since 1703.
Fish's spokesman later explained: "It's really all a question of detail." In fact, technically, Fish was correct. It was not a hurricane, but an intense North Atlantic depression. "We don't get hurricanes in the West Country," one observer explained. "We get hurricane force winds."
Pat Robertson & Hurricane Gloria
In 1985, with Hurricane Gloria headed toward the east coast, televangelist Pat Robertson promptly went on the air to pray. "In the name of Jesus," he declared, "we command you to stop where you are and move northeast, away from land, and away from harm."
Incredibly, the hurricane did in fact begin to head northeast. Robertson's claims to have changed the course of the hurricane were met with considerable scorn, however, particularly in Long Island - which lies to the northeast of Robertson's native Virginia and was devastated by Gloria after she changed course.
Pat Sajak: Weatherman
Though Pat Sajak got his start as a weatherman, it was hardly the fulfillment of a lifelong dream. "Most of the things I've done in broadcasting, I never had any intention of doing," he later confessed. "I did the weather in Nashville and Los Angeles, and to this day I couldn't tell you what a cold front is!"
Quanzhi's note: a very good excuse for our meteorological students if professor asks about the definition of cold front or something else!
Court astrologers
According to Marco Polo, Kublai Khan maintained some 5,000 court astrologers, whose duties included the hazardous task of weather prediction. Why so many? Guessing wrong, he explained, could lead to "early retirement."
Quanzhi's note: I have never heard this fact before! Thankfully I have no interest to be a meteorologist in future at the moment.
These pieces of anecdotes are citing from www.anecdotage.com. Surprisingly only a few meteorlogy-related entries were found, I guess that is because meteorlogist has made too much wrong predictions so people have got used to it. Well, I'm not blaming meteorlogists
Weather forecast is indeed a challenging topic and we have made significant progress on it over the last a few decades.
意象·火鸡
Dec 2nd
初稿 2008年12月2日
周四午时,因故途径饭堂门口,忽见一砖红色庞然大物,立于路口处摇摇晃晃,似有将倾之虞。细察之,乃一人也,身裹废纸制成之纸板,仅面部留一小孔,不得观周围事物,故摇摇欲坠也。滑稽之余,不解其意:回收废品欤?宣传环保欤?转之身后,得二大字:“火鸡”,乃知此火鸡是也。时戊子年十月三十。
[转载] 物理学界逸事
Dec 1st
某位大牛教导我说:弄科研,就得会适当地八卦,因为这是一种科研文化。所以我就继续整理有关这个内容的小集子。以下内容转自校内。
一、爱因斯坦
- 有一年开会,就是那种数学物理学上的牛人们去开的那种会。会场选在了拉斯韦加斯,这和国内选九寨沟什么的一样,都是要找能腐败的地方。我们的小爱同学在那里做了一件很不好的事情,他疯狂的赌钱。然后有个物理学家就评论说,“我从来没想过爱因斯坦也会这样,好像要见不到明天的太阳了似的。”另一个愁容满面,叹了口气说,“我担心的就是这个,我总觉得他的确是知道会有什么事情发生。”
- 爱因斯坦,当年在苏黎世读书的时候,也是满可怜的。他和另外三个学生一起获得了一个叫Fachlehrer的冬冬(大概就是作助教的资格),另外三个人立马就拿到了位置,偏偏小爱没拿到。(另一个学生,爱因斯坦未来的第一任夫人,未能通过Fachlehrer),当时系里管这个的是Weber,好像对爱因斯坦不是很满意,曾经批评爱因斯坦不喜欢听从他人意见(原文是 but you have one great fault, you do let yourself be told anything)。据说爱因斯坦对实验兴趣不大也是跟这个有关。小爱终生对Weber耿耿于怀。当Weber去世的时候(1912),小爱居然写了这样一封信给朋友,信中声称“Weber's death is good for the ETH”。ETH Zurich就是苏黎世理工学院了。
- 一个美国女记者走访爱因斯坦,问道:“依您看,时间和永恒有什么区别呢?” 爱因斯坦答道:“亲爱的女士,如果我有时间给您解释它们之间的区别的话,那么,当你明白的时候,永恒就消失了!”
- 爱因斯坦的二儿子爱德华问:“爸爸,你究竟为什么成了著名人物呢?” 爱因斯坦听后,先是哈哈大笑,然后意味深长地说:“你瞧,甲壳虫在一个球面上爬行,可它意识不到它所走的路是弯的,而我却能意识到。”
- 一天,爱因斯坦在冰上滑了一下,摔倒了。他身边的人忙扶起他,说:“爱因斯坦先生,根据相对论的原理,你并没摔倒,对吗?只是地球在那时忽然倾斜一下?” 爱因斯坦说:“先生,我同意你的说法,可这两种理论对我来说,感觉都是相同的。”
- 20世纪30年代,爱因斯坦有一次在巴黎大学演讲时说:“如果我的相对论证实了,德国会宣布我是个德国人,法国会称我是世界公民。但是,如果我的理论被证明是错的,那么,法国会强调我是个德国人,而德国会说我是个犹太人。”
- 老爱和小爱的故事:广义相对论提出的时候,是爱丁顿带着一帮人趁着日食的时候看看远处的星光会不会被太阳偏折,观测的当晚,老人家紧张的一夜没睡。“他显然不懂相对论,否则,会和我一样安安稳稳的睡觉。无论怎样,广义相对论是对的,不然,我会为仁慈的上帝感到遗憾。” ——小爱对老爱失眠的评价。爱丁顿当时的测量误差和真值差不多大(用现在的话说就是相对不确定性几乎为百分之百),不过他还是发表结果支持爱因斯坦,然后爱因斯坦就成了神。所以你可以想象爱丁顿当时的权威有多大,基本上,天文学家、天体物理学家都是闭着眼睛跟他走。
- 据说有个传说是有人问爱丁顿,说当世只有三个人懂得相对论,爱因斯坦是一个,您是一个。爱丁顿沉默了半天,那人说您不必如此谦虚吧。爱丁顿说,我在想那第三个人是谁。以上故事真实性不可考,不过这个是真实的。当年普朗克劝爱因斯坦去柏林,爱因斯坦推辞说:“相对论不算什么,郎之万说全世界也就12个人懂。”普朗克回答道“可是这12个人至少有八个在柏林”可见当时德国数学物理学研究之强。
二、泡利(Pauli)
- 这位先生是上个世纪少有的天才之一,Pauli同学出生于维也纳一个研究胶体化学的教授的家中,他的教父是著名的马赫先生。马赫先生被爱因斯坦称为相对论的先驱,虽然马赫先生并不给小爱这个面子,声称他对于相对论的相信程度,像他对分子论的相信程度一样。而众所周知,马赫先生极端反对分子论,而这种反对是使那个统计物理的天才波尔兹曼最终绝望而自杀的原因之一。在Pauli 21岁的时候,他为德国的《数学科学百科全书》写了一片长达237页的关于狭义和广义相对论的词条,该文,到今天仍然是该领域的经典文献之一,爱因斯坦曾经评价说,“任何该领域的专家都不会相信,该文出自一个仅21岁的青年之手,作者在文中显示出来的对这个领域的理解力,熟练的数学推导能力,对物理深刻的洞察力,使问题明晰的能力,系统的表述,对语言的把握,对该问题的完整处理,和对其评价,是任何一个人都会感到羡慕。”
- 少数年轻人大约以为这个物理学的王子的名字只是与不相容原理联系在一起,甚至他们以为这个原理只是量子力学的一个推论。实际上,这个原理的提出是在1925年,甚至早于海森堡提出量子力学,Pauli是用他天才的洞察力从浩如烟海的光谱数据中得出的不相容原理,其难度甚至远大过开普勒整理行星轨道的数据。Pauli的贡献遍及当时物理学的各个领域,他参与了量子力学的基础建设,量子场论的基础建设,相对论……Pauli似乎在物理学领域是一个征服者而不是一个殖民者,他大量的工作没有发表,而是遗留在私人信件里。今天我能查到的信件中,我们发现大量这样的例子,他的关于矩阵力学和波动力学的等价性证明是写在给Jordan的信件里,测不准原理首先出现在他给海森堡的信件里,Dirac的泊松括号量子化被Hendrik Kramers 独立发现,而他指出,Pauli早就指出了这种对易关系的表示方法。或许有些天才的生命是注定短暂的,Pauli生于1900年,于1958年去世,仅比他心中帝王晚去世3年,(爱因斯坦1879-1955),他唯一的遗憾就是一生中觉得没有做出像他的king一样伟大的工作。
- Pauli作为一个物理学家,眼光是相当锐利的。比如Feynman说的那个故事,Pauli预言惠勒永远做不出那个什么超前推迟势的量子力学推广(果然他没作出),Feynman事后着实被puali的眼光震惊了。不过Pauli一生最遗憾,他是那个时代公认最聪明的物理学家,却没有做一个划时代的发现。他一生喜欢评论别人的东西,经常是一针见血,不过很可惜,他一生反对错了最重要的两件事情,一个电子自旋,一个宇称不守恒。可能一个人过于敏锐了,对于一些违反常规的想法有一种本能的抵制。
- Pauli的刻薄在圈内无人能敌。做Pauli学生太可怜了,他曾经批评学生的论文, “连错误都算不上。”他对一篇文章最好的评价就是:“这章几乎没有错。”Kronig,最早提出电子自旋的概念,可是拿着论文去找泡利。被骂了一顿,因为Pauli指出计算不符合相对论。于是他们没敢发这篇文章,悲惨啊。海森堡得了Nobel奖以后经常还被他骂的狗血喷头。不过Pauli有一点比较好。他对所有人都很刻薄,不会因人而异。有次小爱作报告,做完了,Pauli起立来了句,“看来爱因斯坦不是很蠢。”
- 后来有人这样说:“Pauli死后,来到天堂见到上帝。上帝把他关于宇宙的设计给Pauli看。Pauli看了半天,挠了挠头,说:“居然找不到什么错。”
- Pauli大概天生不适合作实验。据说他出现在哪里,那里的实验室仪器就会有故障 。有次,某个老大的实验室仪器突然失灵。他们就开玩笑说,今儿Pauli没来这地方啊。后来过了不久,Pauli告诉他们,那天他乘坐的火车在那个时刻在他们的城市短暂停留了一下。
- Pauli年轻的时候大概是他最牛的时候,他和海森堡认识的时候,虽然不一样大,但是海森堡对他当真是言听计从,看来十分崇拜。海森堡刚开始想做相对论方向的工作,Pauli作为已经在相对论方面已经算是一个小专家的人物,他告诉海森堡,“他觉得相对论方面近期的进展是hopeless,但是原子物理方面机会却是大大的。”要是海森堡去做相对论,就不是现在的样子了。
- 关于Pauli和爱因斯坦的地位:对于所有人来说,小爱在上一世纪简直就是God。波恩曾经认为,Pauli也许是比爱因斯坦还牛的科学家,不过他又补充说,Pauli完全是另一类人,“在我看来,他不可能像爱因斯坦一样伟大。”那么Pauli是怎么看爱因斯坦的呢?在1945年,Pauli终于拿到了那个他觉得自己20年前就应该拿到的Nobel后,普林斯顿高等研究院为Pauli开了庆祝会,爱因斯坦为此在会上演讲表示祝贺。Pauli后来写信给波恩回忆这一段,说“当时的情景就像物理学的王传位于他的继承者。”Pauli倒是一点都不客气,认为自己就是继承者了。
- 最后补充一点,泡利虽然为人刻薄,语言尖锐,但这并不影响他在同时代物理学家心目中的地位。在那个天才辈出,群雄并起的物理学史上最辉煌的年代,英年早逝的泡利仍然是夜空中最耀眼的几颗巨星之一,以致在他死后很久,当物理学界又有新的进展时,人们还常常想起他,“不知道如果泡利还活着的话,对此又有什么高见。”
三、海森堡
- 当博士当的最郁闷的莫过于海森堡。做实验答辩,结果委员会中有老师对他不满,差点没让他毕业 。做理论,老板索菲莫,给了个做不出来的题目,湍流,差点不能完成任务。不过超人毕竟是超人,他在不知道怎么计算精确解的情况下,猜了一个近似解,毕业了。你猜怎样?最后那个结果被证明是正确的。
- 有些人的工作是由于数理功底扎实,水到渠成,但他们从事的问题别人去做也可能成功。但海森堡的研究就非常奇怪,比如他不会严格计算湍流,但是猜出了二维湍流解,最后这个解被林家翘严格证明了,诺伊曼作数值计算也发现他是对的。量子力学的创立也是如此,谁也没想到他能够一开始就完全放弃轨道等经典概念,只从可观测量出发建立量子力学。戈德史密特作过氦光谱的问题,他想用轨道自旋耦合解释,费尽力气也没找到答案,然后海森堡开始做,他从一开始就意识到这可能与反对称波函数有关,结果作出了答案,这好像是反对称波函数的第一次应用。
- 据说海森堡给自己弄了个墓志铭,“He lies somewhere here”。直译就是 “他在这里,且在别处。”明白不确定原理的各位应该都知道这句话的意思。
四、波尔兹曼
- 波尔兹曼是伟大的统计物理学家,他对现代的统计物理理论做了奠基性的工作,不幸的是他一生在与自己的学术对手作斗争,被迫不停的宣传原子论;更不幸的是学术上的斗争竟然引入了人身攻击,攻击他的人就包括爱因斯坦很很佩服的马赫;不幸的波尔兹曼最终死于自杀,最大的不幸是他刚死,他的对手就都承认了原子论。
- 伟大的波尔兹曼的墓志铭是一个伟大的公式: S=k*lnW。此公式被认为是物理学中最深刻的公式之一 。
- 波尔兹曼大约上课不喜欢往黑板上写东西,然后学生经常抱怨听不懂。然后学生complain啊,说老大,证明太难了,以后往黑板上写,别光讲,我们记不住。波尔兹曼答应了。第二天,他又在课上开始滔滔不绝,从a变换到b,b到c...最后总结说,大家看这个东西如此简单,就跟1+1=2一样。然后他突然想起对学生的承诺,于是拿起粉笔,在黑板上工工整整地写了“1+1=2”。
- 波尔兹曼生前很少有支持者,年轻的Planck是这少数支持派的一员,但是可怜的Planck,波尔兹曼压根看不起他,认为Planck和自己不是一路。这个故事告诉我们,一张厚脸皮和一颗麻木的心对于科学工作者是多么重要啊。
五、牛顿的“谦虚”
- 那句有名的话“ if I have seen further than others, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.”不少年轻孩子都因为这句话觉得牛顿很谦虚。其实这句话很损的。胡克,就是胡克定律那个,一直宣称万有引力是他先发现的,后来牛老大怒了,就给他写了一封信,其中包含了这句话。意思嘛,很明显,是说就算我的发现借鉴了前人的工作,那也只是借鉴了那些巨人的,这跟你有什么关系?看来骂起仗来,物理学家不比其他人差。同样的话还有更有名的爱迪生的“天才是99%的汗水加上1%的灵感。”
六、欧姆的“运气”
- 欧姆同学,就是那个欧姆定律那个,这孩子从小做事认真努力,经过不懈研究,终于得出了欧姆定律 U=I*R,想想在当时,这是多大的发现啊,按理说房子车子票子应该全来了。不幸的是,这个定律实在是太简单了,完美的线性关系,在那些老大们看来,根本不可能。于是Ohm的tenure(职位)不仅没拿到,还被攻击为骗子,Ohm,老实孩子会倒霉的。
七、多普勒是怎么验证多普勒效应的
- 大家都知道,限于当时的条件,多普勒同学不可能像我们一样运用计算机啊什么的记录下波形文件,然后比较频率。那他怎么办呢?他请了一帮吹小号的坐在火车拉的平板车上,然后请了一帮能听出绝对音高的音乐家坐在铁轨旁,让那帮音乐家用他们的耳朵记录下火车靠近和离开的时候的声音。多普勒公式就是这么验证的。牛啊 !
八、费曼(Feymann)
- 他有个最大的毛病,就是喜欢装牛,明明自己也是费尽九牛二虎之力才作出来的。非得装着一晚上想出来的,用来打击别人。不过他也碰上过对手,有次碰上个速算的牛人,从此他知道在某些人面前不能吹牛的。
- 他有次跟个朋友参加聚会,他路上抱怨说自己为盛名所累,讨厌人围着,他朋友安慰他说今天没有物理圈的,我不说,没人知道你得过Nobel,于是他朋友很老实的。遵守诺言,可是宴会开到一半,几乎所有的人都知道Feymann是Nobel了。他朋友很郁闷,找了个人一问,原来是Feymann自己到处说的。
- 关键是Feymann虽然的确不错,但是他自己吹再加上别人帮着吹,吹着吹着就让人受不了了。比如那个所谓的拒领Nobel奖,而且这个家伙明显的大嘴巴,作演讲不管对的错的一块儿来。
九、费米(Fermi)
- Fermi真的是可以跟爱因斯坦,Bohr比肩的大师,非但目光锐利,善于抓住主要问题,而且思维敏捷,实验理论都是第一流,还会教学生,作为一个物理学家,简直是完美。关于场论,刚开始大家特别糊涂,自己算出来的是什么东西都不知道,只知道算。然后Fermi发了一片文章,结束了混乱。
- Fermi有次在讨论班上讲群伦,他先讲了A ,然后是B ,然后是……讲了老半天,讲到了群的定义。然后学生就抱怨阿,说怎么讲的这么乱, Fermi然后来了句:“群论就是一堆定义的堆砌而已。”
- Fermi对物理学家有自己的分类办法:a、某些他认为自己可以从对方身上学到一点东西的(在50年代的芝加哥,这样的人只有一个,盖尔曼);b、有勇气反对他的人,(不幸的是,Fermi通常认为自己是对的);c、能够几乎自动的接受他的想法的人,这种人可以做助手。
- 有关轨道自旋耦合还有一个Fermi的故事。Mayer,就是那个女物理学家,牛人。企图解释原子核的壳层模型,怎么都不成功,去问Fermi,费米问了一句,你考虑过自旋轨道耦合没有?Mayer去做,成功了!
- 费米的轶事多不胜数,搞原子弹的时候,很多东东涉及保密,人手一个密码柜,结果很多人经常忘了密码,或者本人正好不在,同事们却要使用他锁起来的资料。当时费米就极擅长开这种密码锁,有一次他去了趟另一个部门,走后该部门就有文件下来:凡是费米碰过的柜子,统统换密码。
十、施温格(Schwinger)
- 这个人是属于早慧那种,和费曼一起发现了量子电动力学。据说他十几岁时混得不好,在纽约一个社区大学混日子,但有一天著名物理学家I. I. RabiI和另一个牛人在谈论量子电动力学的问题,Schwinger插话了,“这个少年尖锐的发言结束了这场争论。”Rabi爱才,特意托关系把他招进的Columbia,从此Schwinger一帆风顺……
- Schwinger的数学奇好,写的文章很难看得懂,据说有次场论报告的时候,除了Bohr在那里点头,剩下的人根本不知道他在说什么,但既然波尔在那点头,大家认为就对了,紧接着费曼上去忽悠,这下更糟,连Bohr在内,没一个听懂的,Bohr据说讲了句特尖刻的话:“你应该重学量子力学。”
- Schwinger以超强的算功闻名。有段时间Schwinger在Oppenenheimer那里干活。有两个年轻的物理学家来找奥本海默请教一个问题。此时奥本海默已经进入脱产的老板阶段,就告诉他们这样这样算,回去自己算吧。当天Schwinger狂算了一个晚上,最后就把结果写在一破纸上,塞到一口袋里。过了5、6个月,那两个人回来了,高兴把结果拿给老板看,Oppenenheimer就对Schwinger说你不是早就搞定了吗,你去对一下。Schwinger就回去把所有的衣服翻了遍,终于找到了那个小纸团。对了一下,回来告诉大部分是对的,只差了一个因子。于是Oppenenheimer转身就对那两个家伙说:“你们赶快回去,找找看哪里少了个因子。”看,当老板狂吧?
- Schwinger的工作时间和其他人是正交的。一般他下午5:30去办公室,那时候别人都回家了。所以如果有问题,总是留个条子在他的桌上。一次一个物理学家不太懂BESSEL函数,就留个条子在他的桌上。第二天他发现一本40页的答案。但是他发现这个结果没有物理意义。就又留条子问你是不是弄错了?Schwinger自信地说没问题。这哥们只好自学相关的数学,好长时间自己也弄出来了。再对一下Schwinger的答案,发现Schwinger用错了一个公式。这事很丢面子,于是Schwinger恼火地说:下次再也不到书上抄公式了,用什么一定自己先推一遍。
- Feynman没教出好学生,Schwinger却是个好老师,最著名的有Glashow,在Harvard师从Schwinger。Glashow也是个怪才,一次他给他教的学生考试,好象考电动力学吧,学生们被卷子上的一道题目卡住了,个个满头大汗。Glashow突然想起来了,对学生们说:“卷子里有一道题目我也没有做出来,谁做出来了告诉我一声。”全体学生尽皆晕倒。
十一、夸克发现的历史
- 夸克名称来自诗集《芬尼根彻夜祭》,其中有这样一段诗句:“夸克……夸克……夸克……/三五海鸟把脖子伸直,/一起冲着绅士马克/除了三声‘夸克’/马克一无所得/除了冀求的目标/全部都归马克。
- 现在一提夸克,大家都知道是盖尔曼。其实兹维格比盖尔曼要早发明夸克理论,发展的也完整得多,他写了篇特详细的文章。基本上方方面面都涉及到了。可惜四处投稿发不了,因为太超前了。他想在大学谋个职位,可惜没有成功,因为他的关于夸克理论的文章使他名声扫地,某位德高望重的理论物理老前辈评价说那文章纯属江湖骗子之手。这个故事说明:工作做得太好了,是要坏事的。
- 盖尔曼在兹维格之后不久,也得到了夸克理论。可他跟兹维格不一样,兹维格年轻啊,不知道厉害啊。盖尔曼可是太清楚了,圈内那帮老流氓们打击新奇思想的力度。于是他写了一篇奇短的文章,里面凡是关键的部分都说得含含糊糊,模棱两可。然后他又找了一份不是很牛的杂志,发了。可怜的兹维格,夸克理论都在圈内流传很久了,他的文章仍然到处在找发表的地方呢。也是,谁让他写的太详细了呢 。
十二、讲讲电子自旋的故事
- 说到电子,想起了电子荷质比的测定,密里根油滴试验。现在大家都知道密里根的这个Nobel奖是骗来的了。所以物理实验中曾伪造数据的同学不必内疚,万一你给中国骗个Nobel呢。
- 戈德史密特和另一个老大乌伦贝克当研究生的时候,写了篇电子自旋的论文,他们拿给Lorentz看。结果Lorentz当时就指出:这样电子表面速度大于光速,违反相对论,不可能。这两个人郁闷啊,赶紧去找自己的老板厄轮菲斯特,(爱因斯坦的好友,自杀了)。结果老板告诉他们,文章已发了。还安慰他们:“没关系,年轻人难免犯错。”然后你就知道啦,这两个幸运的家伙,就这样发了一篇重要无比的文章。
[ZZ]最强大的语言:Chinglish
Jun 14th
[[Image:Other/080614a.jpg|550]]
老外对某f字打头的英国国骂在中文中误译的研究论文:http://itre.cis.upenn.edu/~myl/languagelog/archives/005195.html
以及一句经典翻译,自行屏蔽了某词:
* [019] A Solid F?ck (12/08/2007) (KDnet) In issue 2, volume 16, June 2003 of the Kansu province Economic Administrative Cadre Academy Bulletin, there appeared an essay titled <开拓进取,真抓实干,不断开创西部大开发的新局面>. The author Song Chaosu is the Kansu provincial party secretary and the chairman of the Kansu provincial people's congress standing committee.
In the database, the title of the article was translated into English as: Expand Enterprising and Really Grasp Solid F?ck and Continuously Expand and Great the New Situation of Buildings of Western Region.
If there is a "solid f?ck," it is the translation job. A more appropriate translation is: Develop and Forge Ahead with True Understanding and Effort in order to Continuously Create New Situations to Open Up the Western Region."
今夏最佳天文冷笑话:冥王星属于什么类型
Jun 13th
2006年8月的布拉格会议已经否定了冥王星的大行星身份,那它属于什么类型的天体?经过近2年的深思熟虑,国际天文联合会给出了答案:“冥王星型天体”(Plutoid)(暴汗的答案—— 但这不是冷笑话!)相关新闻稿:http://www.iau.org/public_press/news/release/iau0804/。
冥王星型天体指海王星轨道以外的、具有一定质量的天体,它们形状较为规则,但与经典行星不同,它们尚未能将轨道周围的区域“清理干净”,因此它们实际上是属于矮行星的类别。目前已知的“冥王星型天体”有两个:冥王星和Eris。
冷笑话锦集,炎炎夏日解暑用
Jun 9th
编者按:转载自http://www.astronomy.com.cn/bbs/thread-89142-1-1.html,有大规模改动和删节。
- 从前有个人钓鱼,钓到了只鱿鱼。
鱿鱼求他:你放了我吧,别把我烤来吃啊。
那个人说:好的,那么我来考问你几个问题吧。
鱿鱼很开心说:你考吧你考吧!
然后这人就把鱿鱼给烤了…… - 一留学生在美国考驾照,前方路标提示左转,他不是很确定,问考官:
“turn left?”
答:“right”
于是……挂了…… - 小明理了头发,第二天来到学校,同学们看到他的新发型,笑道:小明,你的头型好像个风筝哦!小明觉得很委屈,就跑到外面哭。哭着哭着~他就飞起来了……
- 音乐课上,老师弹了一首贝多芬的曲子
小明问小华:“你懂音乐吗?”
小华:“是的”
小明:“那你知道老师在弹什么吗?”
小华: “钢琴。” - Q:有两个人掉到陷阱里了,死的人叫死人,活人叫什么?
A:叫救命啦! - 提问:布和纸怕什么?
回答:布怕一万,纸怕万一。
原因:不(布)怕一万,只(纸)怕万一。 - 有一天有个婆婆坐车……
坐到中途婆婆不认识路了……
婆婆用棍子打司机屁股说:这是哪?
司机:这是我的屁股…… - 主持人问:猫是否会爬树?老鹰抢答:会!主持人:举例说明!老鹰含泪:那年,我睡熟了,猫爬上了树…… 后来就有了猫头鹰……
- 一个香肠被关在冰箱里,感觉很冷,然后看了看身边的另一根,有了点安慰,说:“看你都冻成这样了,全身都是冰!”结果那根说:“对不起,我是冰棒。”
- MM找大学迷路了。遇见一位文质彬彬的教授。
MM:请问,我怎样才能到大学去?
教授:只有努力读书,才可以上大学。 - 一女遇劫匪颤抖曰:“俺是XX学校的,刚毕业,工作都没找到,真的没有钱……”
劫匪听后竟然痛哭流涕,“妹子,俺也是XX学校的,你拿好学生证,前面抢劫的还是XX学校的,你放心,阿拉绝不抢自己人!” - 高考化学题:A和B可以相互转化,B在沸水中可以生成C,C在空气中氧化成D,D有臭鸡蛋气味,问A、B、C、D各是什么?
我答:A是鸡,B是生鸡蛋,C是熟鸡蛋,D当然是臭鸡蛋啦! - 问:3个头一只脚的是什么东西???
答案:3个头一只脚的怪物!!!!!! - 老师问一同学怎么减少白色污染? 同学答:把饭盒做成蓝色。
- 飞机上,一位空中小姐问一个小女孩说:“为什么飞机飞这么高都不会撞到星星呢?” 小女孩回答到:“我知道,因为星星会‘闪’啊!”
- 老师在课堂上对小明提问,小明站起来却一声不吭。
老师:小明?
老师:小明??
老师:小明!你怎么回事啊?你到底知不知道答案啊?好歹吱一声啊!
小明:吱~ - 说有一只北极熊,因为雪地太刺眼了,必须要戴墨镜才能看东西,可是他找不到墨镜,于是闭着眼睛爬来爬去在地上找,爬呀爬呀,把 脚都爬的脏兮兮的才找到墨镜。戴上墨镜,对着镜子一照,这才发现:哦,原来我是一只熊猫。
- 自然课老师问:为什么人死后身体是冷的?
没人回答。
老师又问:没人知道吗?
这时,有个同学站起来说:那是因为心静自然凉。 - 一天A拣了一面镜子对着镜子照了照说:这里边的人好面熟啊
B说:是吗?我看看(接过镜子),我啊!我你都不认识了啊? - A:“你知道我昨天晚上在网吧干嘛吗?”
B:“在干吗?”
A:“上网呗”
B:“。。。” - 小骆:爸爸,为什么我们要有驼峰呢?
驼爸:因为沙漠中没有水,有驼峰才可以储存水分啊!
小骆:爸爸,为什么我们要有长长的毛呢?
驼爸:因为沙漠中风沙大,我们必须靠它阻挡风沙,才看得见啊!
小骆:爸爸,为什么我们要有厚厚的蹄呢?
驼爸:因为沙漠中都是沙,这样我们才站得稳啊!
小骆:爸爸,最后一个问题,那我们在动物园干嘛呢? - 有个人的名字叫“杜子藤”
老师点名时问
“杜子藤呢?”
同学说:“他肚子疼。”
Pure meal?
Feb 19th
[[Image:Other/080219a.jpg|550|在墨尔本南十字车站准备搭CLK622返悉尼]]
在和Mike和Angela度过愉快的一天以后,我对我的英语水平可以说是很吃惊甚至得意了,这种自满心里一直延续,直到在从墨尔本返回悉尼火车上的一件糗事。
我在墨尔本的一天几乎没有吃饭,直到晚上八点上了火车才消灭了库存的一点饼干和奶酪,我想我应该再喝点什么。这时我听到有个乘务员沿途叫道:"Hot milk! Hot milk!"心里一阵高兴,心想:袋鼠老家的人们服务真是周到,真是想什么就有什么,现在不仅可以喝上热牛奶,还可以顺便秀一下英语水平,让自己也开开心,于是唤住乘务员:"I'd like to have one, thanks." "XX XX XX which do you want?" 乘务员问道。对于这些稀奇古怪的配料名称我已经见怪不怪而且也不去惊扰了,心想:纯牛奶总该有吧。"I'd like to have eh... pure milk?" 结果她居然说:"Sorry?" 晕,难道我的英语就如此不标准吗?"Pure, milk." 我很仔细地重复了一遍。这老外皱着眉很慢地摇了摇头。我心里一阵奇怪:吃袋鼠肉的人们难道连纯牛奶都不喝吗?"Random one would be okay." 脑子飞快的一转:牛奶总不会变可乐吧,随便要一个就是了。老外疑惑更大了,"Then what do you want?" 我发现自己的脸开始发热,"The red card please." 我赶紧指着订餐卡说。"This is pasta, are you sure?" "Yep." 她总算走了,我也松了一口气,心想看来南半球的怪事还多着呢,不仅仅是长途大巴比火车更准点之类的问题。
等了好一会儿,我订的"milk"还没来,心里觉得奇怪:牛奶也要搞这么长时间吗?于是拦住一个过路的胖子乘务员问啥时候能喝上。"Would be ready in an hour." 我谢过胖子,心里开始觉得蹊跷,一眼督见放在桌板上的手机,于是抓起来查pasta是什么意思,结果竟然是“意大利面食”,再抓起订餐卡一看,是"meal reservation card"!这时才大悟:原来我把meal听成了milk,幸亏那老外没玩过这样的脑筋急转弯,不然岂不是要闹大笑话!这可好了,不仅牛奶喝不成,一个pasta还不知道要让钱包出多少血哪。到了订餐时间,我灰溜溜地跑到餐车,这次和那位和蔼可亲的大叔沟通就四平八稳地没有出乱子,同时庆幸自己只破费8澳币就解决了问题(那天为了袋鼠肉的好奇可是要破费26澳币—— 还好是Mike请客),顺带要了一份真正的plain milk。看来是老天要教训教训我吧,走回座位的路上火车不稳,还打了个趔趄。
最新评论 Recent Comments